"That moment"

It's been a tough few days.

Yesterday, I had a conversation with someone and I feel like it has changed everything.

It has changed the way I see myself with respect to others.

It has made me angry, hurt and sad all at once.

It has made me feel like there is no going back.

There are certain things said, things done and conversations had, that you can't return from. That's what I've experienced. I feel like my world has changed.

I don't like it. I don't like not being in control of my life. It's debilitating and painful.

I am in one of those moments which I think I'm going to remember as "that moment". You know, that feeling when you are experiencing something epic, life-changing, heart-wrenching, moving.... anything big, really..... and then you recall this memory that you randomly have of something once insignificant but now so essential. The past few days, the process of me writing this blog post, they will both be something I look back on. I will be thinking one of three things:

You didn't know it then, but things were going to get a lot worse. 

You didn't know it then, but things were just about to get better.

Nothing has changed.


I don't know which one it'll be. I don't know which one I want it to be. All I know, is that right now, I feel like the earth beneath me isn't as steady, and I'm slowly losing my balance.


Here's to not falling over.


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