Friday, 8 April 2016

I need a hug-

- but I am not a hugging person.

The last few days have been strange; a close relative of mine is staying with us because of personal issues, my cousin had her mehndi yesterday where her sister-in-law unleashed her marriage and family burdens on me, the same cousin's wedding is tomorrow, I start work tomorrow and I am back at school on Monday. It's a lot. But at the same time I'm not a victim in any of this. I am okay. It's just that there are a lot of thoughts going on in my head. To get it all out I'm going to bleurghhhhh it here:


  • The process of moving house is strangely ceremonial; the act of packing things into boxes is bizarre. Surely, your life should be bigger than the boxes it fits inside. Alas, life exists beyond the material things and I have realised that when the boxes are packed, that's when you see your life as it really is- I suppose it returns to being in a state of affect.
  • Marriage is delicate, precarious and fragile glass that cracks no matter how softly you tread on it. 
  • I'm nervous about going back to school. There are people who I'm scared of seeing.
  • My puzzle hasn't gone well this half-term. I wanted to have finished it. I haven't.
  • I am annoyed all the time with people I care about but I can't (or won't) tell them. Things said can never be unsaid. 
  • I am stuck in a loop of too many conversations with too many people who are all living in my head. 
  • I visited the 'Artist and Empire' exhibition at the Tate Britain today with a friend. 
  • Hands. Just, hands.

No comments:

Post a Comment