Saturday, 9 April 2016

Growing up is...


  • realising that it has happened while you weren't looking, whatever it is...
  • lying down, sprawled on your prayer mat when you've finished praying and feeling too tired to sob your heart out (true story)
  • hearing conversations between your family about 'suitors' and realising that you're not in school anymore- the distant reality has arrived.
  • getting a 'proper' job and realising that you're going to be getting a salary (say whaaaaaaat!)
  • driving (this is a big deal for me) to work with your tote bag in the back
  • taking out your younger brother into the city then having to accept the fact that he trusts you- with his life.... don't lose him- literally
  • seeing old friends and having to accept that so much time has passed that you need to re-introduce yourself (alternatively, you can walk away and pretend you actually don't know them)
  • having to actually think about what day/time you can meet people because EVERYONE IS BUSY
  • feeling sad a lot of the time
  • achieving independence, maturity, perspective... and it feeling underwhelming and overwhelming all at once
  • not feeling happy but not feeling unhappy either- and not being able to understand what happiness would look like for you
  • people having conversations with you about things which you feel too young to hear about
  • having to take it day by day because it hurts too much but at the same time planning ahead because apparently that is life
  • having an address book including people from years ago and people who you don't talk to anymore
  • realising that you are that new generation adults used to talk about
  • crying, crying and crying

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