Genes

Your father was abusive.
A violent drunk.

The four of you will often say:
"We're lucky really. We got out of that shithole"
or something along those lines.

"You're lucky really. You got out of that shit hole"

But the shit hole never left you.

It followed you the way chicken pox
attacks like wildfire
never to be satiated.
Always on to the next victim.

You got out of that "shit hole"
But you dumped us in with you
because the bullied always become bullies
and because when you left,
you took the abuse with you

It is a disease that clung.

The few times I have looked and spoken to him I
have felt sick
and uncomfortable,

He is a stranger.
The ill-gotten stories of
his grandchildren
are trump cards he plays
but i refuse to play the game.

He does not know me.

Yes, you got out of that "shit hole"
but the disease has mutated.

You probably don't think it's here anymore
but I can feel it
in the air

and it makes me sick
with anger.

Mum, you got out of that "shit hole"
but your father was never really gone
and even though I do not know the man that
other girls would call
(grandfather)

sometimes

I think I have met him through you.