Cyclical--

Yesterday, I walked into a charity shop looking for a new puzzle but I didn't find one with a good enough picture; they were all lacklustre images of dreary village roads and goofy childish pictures. I was in and out in five minutes. On my way out, I walked past the racks of old clothes and something caught my eye. I did that thing that you see in the movies where a character walks back and does a double take. It was a scarf. A red and purple scarf with a strand of glittery thread woven in. It looked exactly like a scarf I used to wear. I couldn't remember if I had ever donated that scarf but here in this moment, in this charity shop, it stared at me. I was confronted all of a sudden with the realisation that life goes on. Literally. This scarf, whether or not it was mine, moved on. Someone else will see it and think that they could make a life with it. They'll buy it and instantly, it has a new life. It's silly I know but I felt sad.

It felt like a part of me was gone and I hadn't realised it.

I suppose it reveals our biggest insecurities as people-- life continues regardless. Regardless of our happiness. Regardless of our sadness. Life and sadness and hope and joy and our dreams and death are all intertwined. We win some, we lose some and most of the time, we miss things. Seeing that scarf made me realise that I didn't have it anymore. That it wasn't mine. Which means that there are other things that are not mine.

There are other things which I don't have any longer.